I just realised something…
Slowly the realisation seems to sink in. The realisation that everything that (ever!) happened to me had a purpose.
The last year was pretty life-changing for me, as it has made me so much more aware of things. I went abroad, I lived in a fascinating metropolis, I met so many different kinds of people there, both good and bad, I got my heart broken. And then I went back home.
The story doesn’t end there though.
It’s been more like an incomprehensible journey I was on and only know I can actually understand why things had to happen the way they did. I wasn’t really sure who I was or what I wanted before these events, but then I got the amazing chance of getting to know myself.
Pain really seems to be a blessing in disguise. I’ve never experienced anything as heart-wrenching as this in my life, and yet I feel like this is the best thing that could have possibly happened to me.
Before, I wasn’t even awake. Like a bear during hibernation. I didn’t even know what was going on, although I thought I did, and then out of nowhere someone came and shook me awake. And pretty violently too.
I’ve come to understand that I simply cannot control everything, especially not what other people are doing, and therefore it’s pretty much a waste of time to try to change that fact. I’ve learned how to relax, how to see things more clearly and from a different perspective. It’s not like the world is working according to my rules.
I’m just a tiny piece in that big puzzle and as I go on living I meet other pieces all the time. Sometimes it fits, and sometimes it doesn’t. That can hurt a lot. Especially if you thought that you and the other piece could be great together.
Anyways, what I am trying to say is that I’m ok with this. I’ve accepted my mistakes and my past, and most importantly, I forgave as well. I’m trying not to worry about the future too much because it’s impossible to predict. Why should I freak out about it? There is an endless number of ways that you could choose and that is pretty amazing, after all.
Just look at it like this: Whatever happens can turn you into a better and happier person.
If you let it.