A Lesson Learned is a Lesson Earned
This is one of my more recent journal entries. I feel like I’ve come a long way from where I used to be.
Until not too long ago I didn’t give them much of a thought. But then, my life turned into a different direction due to the changes taking place in it that I had no real control over.
I lost someone I deeply cared about, or at least that’s what I told myself. Letting go of that person is still a work in progress. I am listening to my feelings and at the same time attempting to take steps towards a bigger and better future without regrets.
What I realised is that I learned quite a few things on the way, I haven’t got a doubt about that, although putting what I’ve learned into words is a much more difficult task.
For one, I noticed that loving myself and feeling good in my own skin are a pre-requisite to connect with other people on a deeper and meaningful level. How could I possibly love anyone else if I didn’t accept myself the way I am? I had to learn this the hard way. This also includes not to forget to concentrate on my own wishes, my dreams about the future and the things that I am passionate about, whether there is someone by my side or not. I’m the one who is responsible for my own happiness and I can’t pass it on to somebody else to make me happy.
I’ll need to find a way to listen to my inner voice and trust my intuition as well, because ignoring them will only bring me to places that I don’t want to ever find myself in (again). Being open and attentive to the voice within will guide me and show me the right direction, the ways in which I want to live my life and find out what’s best for me.
Another thing that I learned is that I can’t run away from my feelings. At some point all those repressed, negative and uncomfortable emotions will find a way back to haunt me, so it’s necessary to deal with them head-on. Pain is hard to endure but it’s a part of life and denying it will not lead anywhere, so it’s better to acknowledge it and then let it go. Holding on to pain is self-destructive and doesn’t serve anyone. Also, holding grudges against other people doesn’t hurt them, but in the end it’s you who’s suffering if you continue to harbour vengeful thoughts. Release those thoughts, and you’ll release yourself.
What’s more, I believe that it’s vital to be gentle with yourself, treat yourself like you would treat your best friend whom you only wish the best. Otherwise, if you only pay attention to your inner critic who’s filling up your mind with crazy lies about yourself and loads of negative self-talk, you’ll remain stuck. And who would want such a thing? In order to grow as a person in the best ways you can, you need to befriend yourself and take good care of yourself during difficult times. Heal yourself, everybody deserves that.
One of the hardest things I had to learn in the last year was that some things are just not meant for you. You might desire them with all your heart and would do anything to achieve them but sometimes that just isn’t enough. You need to understand that you can’t have everything that you want in life because some things are just not right for you. It’s very hard to accept this and even harder to move on after such a realisation but ultimately it is for the best.
For example, you meet someone, you fall in love and you want to hold on to that feeling forever. But there is just no such thing as forever. Life is full of change, and that may hurt, but letting go of the past and learning your lessons along the way is all that you can do to make it worthwhile. If you accept that, you are able to live a fulfilled life with a lot of different experiences, but without regrets. Never forget about the good things in your life, the things you take for granted but that you don’t show enough gratitude for. If we obsess about the things we can’t have we forget about what’s already there, and if we’re not careful we might lose those things as well.
Be mindful, be thankful and always believe that what happens to you is for the best.
Either it’s a blessing, or a lesson.